Oh, MONEY.

I have never been very good with handling it. There's a song by Twin Cities band, Greazy Meal (popular in the late 90's), that has the lyric, "I don't like money, but I sure like what it buys." Ain't that the truth.

I will also admit that over the years, I have racked up some hefty credit card debt, particularly when I did AmeriCorps*VISTA and my monthly income was $700. I'm still paying for those groceries on my Citibank MasterCard. My divorce also took a toll on my credit. Plastic is NOT my friend.

The pastor at my church is doing a three week series called "ATM" -- Attitude, Treasure, Mission. The underlying theme is that we need to re-think money, particularly its value and purpose in our lives.

I totally get that. I fully understand the benefits of living a life of generosity and selflessness. But how can I truly give AND live generously if I am still, quite literally, paying for past mistakes?

I can make budgets and expense lists till the cows come home. The majority of my income is spent on "necessity bills" and "debt bills." After that, if I have anything left, I give to charity, and (maybe) buy groceries and cat food.

When the economy tanked, Theatre IV was in the same boat as many other nonprofits, which forced some difficult decisions: layoffs, pay cuts and increased employee out-of-pocket health care. For many of us, that translates to salary levels at or below where they were five years ago.

I realize that having a lesser-paying job is still better than having no job and that all things considered, I am incredibly blessed and face better circumstances than many. But for someone like me, who has never been particularly savvy regarding money matters, I am finding myself constantly stressing about it. Usually, most of my money is gone the Monday after payday (which is every two weeks).

On the drive home yesterday, I was wishing I could figure out how to sell more drawings or stained glass to supplement my income. But then I realized that if I want to sell more art, I have to make time to create it. Another scarce resource these days.

I'm in rehearsals right now for "Keep on the Sunny Side" at Swift Creek Mill Theatre. When the show starts, the extra income starts. However, the four weeks of rehearsals are unpaid and it's a 20 mile drive to the Mill five or six times a week. When the show is running, it will still be three to four times a week. I haven't done the math, but I'm guessing it's pretty close to a wash in terms of extra income compared to money spent on gas... or "money out the tailpipe" as my grandfather put it.

Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine, thank you.

This is pretty much a vent session. I know many other people are in the same predicament. I just wish one of us had a universal solution.

Vertigo

I wish this were a blog post about the classic Hitchcock movie with the cool poster.

I woke up yesterday with the room spinning. I thought, "Hm, that's weird. Maybe I'm still groggy." I got out of bed and proceeded to quickly fall back down on it. "What the heck is happening?"

Oh, vertigo.

The best way to describe it is like having "the spins" after drinking too much. Only without the drinking part.

Unfortunately, the web has a ton to say about the possible causes of vertigo, including Meniere disease (hearing loss), acoustic neuroma (tumor and hearing loss), cerebellar hemorrhage (brain bleeding), Multiple Sclerosis, etc.

But there are also the less serious inner-ear-infection-induced vertigo, migraine-induced vertigo, and Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV). Although not verified by a doctor, I'm pretty sure I have the last variety.

So news to me, there are tiny calcium carbonate crystals (otoconia) that hang out in the inner ear and usually dissolve naturally. But when just one of these crystals decides to take a field trip into the semi-circular canals, it pushes on tiny hairs lining the canal. The hairs act as sensors, giving the brain information about balance. Vertigo happens when the rolling crystal stimulates the hairs.

Treatment?

This:

Apparently this particle repositioning technique (which I tried yesterday) gets rid of the vertigo on the first try about 85% of the time. I am in remaining 15% because I still have it today -- although not as bad. I guess the little crystal has a little further to travel, so I'll try it again tonight. If BPPV isn't the culprit, well...... then it's back to the drawing board.

Meantime, If you'd like to join me in the vertigo experience for a second, just stare at this painting entitled "Blaze" by one of my favorite artists, Bridget Riley. (You can thank me later.)

I did it! (Mostly.)

I didn't eat McDonald's for an entire year. (That was one of my 2010 resolutions.)

I also.... 

• Wrote a short story. No, you may not read it. Well, maybe if you ask nicely. 
  
• Created two non-snowflake glass pieces. The goal was three... but maybe I can count the poppies project that I STARTED in 2010 (and hope to finish this week).
  
• Created two pencil drawings. Goal was two. Woo-hoo! Ironically, both were of doggies. And, I started a third drawing in Dec., which I also hope to finish in the short-term. (Non-dog.)
  
• Created one charcoal drawing. Goal was two. Boo. It is a birthday gift for someone so I won't post a pic until the recipient has received it. I used a lot of charcoal though, so maybe it can count as two? Ok fine.
  
• And, I had a goal of writing three songs. I didn't write any. Triple boo! However, I did write my own harp parts for two songs in Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming. Does that count??

All-in-all, I'm pretty satisfied with my progress toward my 2010 resolutions. How did you do?

Creative surge

The weeks leading up to Christmas were a frenzy of glass, flux and solder as I tried to keep up with orders for leaded glass snowflakes. I made 27 snowflakes this year, compared to 11 last year. This meant going into debt for a time, after buying supplies and waiting for people to pay me. (I might do things a little differently next year.)

I really love making unique glass creations, but the pressure of cranking them out en masse this year got to me a bit. I was happy with each of the snowflakes I made, but at points it felt more like a burden than an enjoyable creative experience, especially when debt entered the picture.

But now that the frenzy has subsided, the debt is gone and I have a whole week off (thanks to the generosity of my employer!), I have been experiencing a renewed sense of creativity, purely for the fun of it.

I put together a piece made of tiny glass scraps left over from a Christmas commission. They were too small and plentiful to foil and solder, so I glued them together. The entire piece is roughly 5x7. (I still need to clean it up and put a frame around it.)

The other night, I spent some time doodling, which I haven't done in months. I have a dozen or so doodles similar to this one. I had forgotten how relaxing it is to just lose myself in a doodle!

I've also gotten back to my harp, which has been woefully neglected since the Sanders show ended. Robb and my poor neighbor downstairs had to listen to me tune it for about an hour. (Sorry guys!)

Yesterday, I started working on a glass piece that has been in the "pattern state" for going on a couple years now. I really love this design and have a hunch that maybe some others will too... so I'll probably be making it a few times over. But I just might keep the first iteration for myself.

After all the pre-holiday artistic mass production, I'm somewhat relieved to know that my creative spark still exists. In addition to the poppies project, I plan to do some baking this week, and maybe a drawing.

I guess I'll be finishing out 2010 with a surge of creativity -- and ringing in 2011 the same way!

Analog vs. digital

Ever since the technology world flipped the digital switch, the debate of analog versus digital has been circling 'round and 'round, with no sign of stopping anytime soon.

I had a discussion with Robb recently about film photography versus digital photography and a similar discussion on the topic of artistic talent, whether innate or manufactured.

B&W film photo. Grain Belt © 2000 www.emilyjcole.com

It used to be that to take good photos, one had to have a keen eye for value, color and composition. Photos shot on film involved either processing them oneself in a darkroom, or rolling the dice with a commercial developer. Either way, it was easy to tell a good photograph from the not-so-good ones.

Now, with digital technology, virtually anyone can be a talented photographer. Photo editing programs like Photoshop, Lightroom and even freebies like Google's Picasa mean that tasks like cropping, straightening, adjusting brightness/contrast/saturation, etc. can be achieved with a mouse-click and can make any old photo look like a masterful composition. All that is required of the eye is to see.

This is not necessarily a bad thing! It opens up a world of creativity to people who may never have dipped their toe in the creative waters otherwise. It does raise the bar, however, for anyone wanting to pursue a career in photography. Talented photogs either need to step it up a notch and produce great photographs, or get lost in the shuffle with the myriad of good ones. 

I used to think of myself as a decent photographer and briefly considered delving into it as a sideline profession. But not anymore. The sheer cost of keeping up with the latest and greatest technology that is required to produce great vs. good photos has, I dare say, permanently relegated me to that of a hobbyist. 

Digital sketch. Lil Wayne © 2010 SEILER

 

The same analog vs. digital conundrum holds true for painting and drawing too. I follow an über-talented art blogger named Seiler who is a successful caricaturist and artist in Chicago. He does everything digitally and can turn around a painting in a couple days and a drawing in even less time. 

Graphite drawing. Muhammad Ali © 2001 www.emilyjcole.com

When I think of the amount of time I spend drawing a portrait, I get irritated at the notion that someone else can do the same thing, minus the eraser crumbs and frustration, in half the time using a stylus and tablet with their Mac. It feels like cheating to me. And a little bit elitist. Forget about trying to compete with techno-savvy artists who can turn around multiple pieces in the time it takes to complete one portrait the old-school way. [Maybe I'm just jealous that he can afford the technology and I can't...!?]

I'm sounding like a crotchety old woman here! Perhaps the issue is less about the technology and more about finding one's niche in the market. There has been a resurgence of interest in vinyl records, tube amps, knitting, and pretty much anything "vintage" or hand-made. I suppose the same could hold true for art.

Until I win the lottery and buy all the fancy equip-

ment my heart desires, I will satisfy myself with that conclusion. At least I can rest assured that stained glass will never become digital!  

Or will it...?

Ch-ch-changes and stuff

I blew through the entire month of May without a blog post. As they say in British Parliament, SHAME!

A few updates and changes. My computer died, then got all Lazarus-y and came back to life. I spent maybe two or three weeks computerless, relying on my Droid to help me satiate my email, Facebook and Twitter addictions. Then, one day, I came home and a little voice (GOD???) told me to plug in my computer and "just see what happens." It was a laptop miracle! It started up, the battery charged, and I immediately backed up EVERYTHING onto a portable 500 gig hard drive in case it was just going to be a 10-minute miracle. But so far it is still working ok... I mean, the period is still missing (am still copying/pasting the ".") and the screen still flickers on occasion, but I've been treating it very gingerly and so far it has responded by staying alive.

Remember how I said I was going to move out of my current place? Yeah, that's not so much happening anymore, much to the dismay of my neighbor down the hall in #4 who's had his eye on scooting into #3 the moment I turn the key and say goodbye. Oh well, he's pretty cool so hopefully he can wait another year, which is how long I'm staying. Turns out my landlord next door is still in his house too, with the "for sale" sign still out front. It's leaning a little.

Finished up A Grand Night for Singing at Swift Creek Mill Theatre on May 22. What a fun show! And great people. Such a pleasure. I hope I get a chance to work with some or all of them again.

[Gotta pause here to give Franklin some attentxssaz[ko7yt65 <-- he says "hi"]

Went to MN for a couple weekends in May, the first was for my godson Adam's baptism (still working on uploading all the pics but here are a few; the third is Adam with his parents, Eric & Melissa).

Robbie came with me for the second trip over Memorial Day to visit some family & friends. Got to see my friends Maureen & Mac who were up from Phoenix and my Grandma Katie who has moved to an assisted living facility. She'll be 90 in September.

The highlight of June so far has been my brand new air conditioner that Robbie so graciously installed for me. While I am willingly putting off central air for another year, at least I now have an AC that works properly. And has a remote control.

I have a few drawing and glass projects that I want to get underway... the latest glass creation was stylized initials for Adam. I really want to try to create some pieces based on the Motawi tiles (see earlier blog post). I need to get going on a drawing for a person who won it in last year's Fairy Tale Ball silent auction and contacted me last month to tell me she was the winner. Better late than never! She wants a portrait drawn of her two Sheltie dogs, which will be fun. I've never drawn a dog(s) before.

Finally, a little humor captured on the way to visit Robbie's family in Gloucester last weekend:

Happy "almost" Summer!

$tained gla$$

I've been attempting to come up with some fresh ideas for stained glass panels, prompted by a couple people asking me about commissions and consignments. I still consider myself somewhat of a novice when it comes to crafting glass pieces. I took a class at the Visual Arts Center a few years ago and immediately fell in love with this artform.

I've always been a fan of Art Deco, Art Nouveau and Prairie Style designs. Awhile ago, I bought a book of postcards that featured Arts & Crafts tiles by Motawi Tileworks of Ann Arbor, MI. The designs are inspiring and I think they would transfer exceedingly well to glass:

I love the symmetry of these designs and I can envision them with varying color schemes and glass textures. The thought of tackling one of these panels is exhilarating. So what's to stop me from getting out the glass cutter and grinder right this minute?

$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ 

Creating a glass piece in the hopes that someone will not only be willing to buy it, but buy it at a price that will allow me to recoup my expenses, let alone make a small profit, is a huge leap of faith. Glass materials are not cheap, and if a design has several pieces, assembly takes hours. If I remember correctly, this 13x13 panel took some 24-odd-hours to complete:

So, what to do? Fork out the dough (i.e. bust out the credit card) and hope I can sell pieces in a timely manner? Or secure the commissions first ? The latter is a tricky proposition. I am hesitant to request deposits up front; although, if I don't, I then have to foot the bill entirely until I finish the piece and receive payment.

I tried over the holidays to sell some of my leaded glass snowflakes on etsy.com. I sold three, but at a very minuscule profit margin. I pulled my snowflakes because I didn't have the time or patience to put into marketing myself through the site. I think it's easy for one's artwork to get lost in the myriad of creations the site has to offer potential buyers. I had more success through local word of mouth and working directly with customers. I much prefer that method, although generating business that way is hit or miss.

I'm fairly new at the whole idea of having a craft and offering my work for sale. I have limited workspace (the 3'x4' table in my living room), and thus have to keep pieces small, usually 15" max. It would be fun to try a larger panel, for a transom or full window.... but that will have to wait until I have room to spread out and not worry about stepping on stray shards of glass.

In the meantime, I suppose I can take inventory of my existing glass materials and see what I can make with what I already have. I made this piece entirely out of scrap glass. One lady's scrap is another lady's masterpiece! 

P.S. If anyone has any feedback regarding business strategies,
I'm all ears!

Sick, slick, stick

Sick. I'm sitting here with "a little pneumonia" in my right lung, feeling guilty for not going to work today, even though I spent most of the day working from home and got more done here than I probably would have at the office. I had pneumonia once when I was in college. It was severe. In fact, the doctor called my parents and told them to come get me and bring me home where I could recover. 

I had no idea my current condition was so serious -- I just had a minor cough and fits of wheezing that made it difficult to get a good night's sleep, which was annoying more than anything. A low blood oxygen reading and two chest x-rays later, I'm popping antibiotics and steroids like candy. Not to mention the puffs of albuterol.

But, I will definitely be going to work tomorrow.

Slick. Meanwhile, last week and over the weekend I spent some time updating (or as BC corrected, "overhauling") my website. I switched over to a flash site that I think is pretty darn slick. The other site was ok and served its purpose, but I can't deny that I am overjoyed with the new one. Take a look, www.emilyjcole.com.

Stick.  Updating the website gave me pause. I couldn't help but think of all the other artists and arts employees in Virginia whose livelihoods are in the hands of the General Assembly. The budget for the next biennium is scheduled to come out of conference committee this week. On the chopping block is the Virginia Commission for the Arts, which helps fund hundreds of arts organizations -- large and small -- which employ over 20,000 workers.

Arts advocates across the Commonwealth have been pulling out all the stops, calling, writing and visiting with legislators, using logic and sound economic arguments to pursuade lawmakers that eliminating the VCA is a lose-lose situation for everyone. All in all, I think advocates have demonstrated that artists are not just a bunch of communist pot smoking attic-living bums. We have clearly articulated our cause in a reasonable and diplomatic way...walking softly. But don't forget about that big stick we're carrying.

If the VCA is eliminated, that stick is going to strike a heavy blow on the Virginia economy in ways that will make lawmakers' heads spin and number crunchers' calculators spontaneously combust. I hope with all my heart that our elected officials will receive an epiphany in the next couple days, helping them to recognize the integral role the arts play in our state's economy and leading them to make a rational decision regarding funding the arts.

Otherwise.... we'll all be up [another s-word] creek.

Kid art

I love kid art, especially when given to me. Any of these could be framed, hung in a gallery, and sold for a million dollars. However, I'm perfectly content letting these masterpieces adorn my home.

 

fish ink print from neighbor Dameon (age 10), on the refrigerator

abstract painting by niece Gabbi (age 3), on the back of my front door 

[I think it looks like a mushroom on a blue & red background]

  

marker drawings by Katherine (age 3), in the living room

[the left one is my name, and the right one is a picture of her family's house in Idaho,
because I've never been there and she wanted me to see what it looks like.]

What I love about them: no inhibition, no fretting over composition, technique, medium, or whether or not it's any good. Pure and selfless creative expression in the moment, intended as a gift for someone else. 

We adults could take a lesson.