We had a 2:00 p.m. matinee of Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming at Hanover Tavern this afternoon, where there also were not one, but two wedding receptions happening. The weather in Richmond, VA today is uncharacteristically warm for fall. The maple leaves are starting to turn orange and gold. There is not a cloud in the sky. It's a perfect day for a beautiful wedding.
Of course, those who know me probably know where I'm going with this. I had a beautiful wedding on an uncharacter-istically warm fall day in St. Paul, MN on Sunday, October 10th, six years ago. The leaves were at their glorious peak and the cloudless sky was an expanse of bright blue.
It was fun to catch a glimpse of the bridal parties today, donning ear-to-ear grins, the perfect accessory to their formalwear. So much happiness and expectation.
I couldn't help but feel a little pang of sadness.
Because no one gets married thinking they'll get a divorce. I was just like the brides I saw today: happy, excited and full of hope. How it should be.
It's just a shame that sometimes, the hope fades and is replaced with something else. I had no idea on that day six years ago that the years to follow would be far less than ideal. My expectations were dashed quite soon after, and the brilliant blue sky of my wedding day became dark and stormy with no sign of clearing.
Even though getting a divorce was the right, smart, and healthy choice, it still weighed heavily on me. The feeling of failure was overwhelming. I was ashamed to tell my family and friends. I felt guilty about the wedding they had all attended, apparently for nothing.But someone reminded me that at the time, on that day six years ago, it was a happy occasion. A beautiful day where family and friends could come together, visit, eat good food and celebrate the future with each other. Every good intention was brought forward on that day, and everyone left with a happy heart.
No good can come out of regret. If those who end up getting divorced knew on their wedding day that would be the outcome, no one would ever get married. There are all kinds of cliches about life's lessons: "life is a journey," "life is meant to be lived," "in life, you take the good with the bad," etc. However, they are all true. All our experiences -- successes, failures and everything in between -- make us who we are.
I firmly believe that the future is bright -- not just for the newlyweds I saw today, but for all of us. It boils down to a matter of perspective and attitude. Life is too short and too precious to believe otherwise!
