Deadly drink

I have to start by saying I feel like kind of a hypocrite writing this post. I drank in college. I continue to enjoy wine and beer and the occasional mixed drink, and sometimes I get a little carried away and pay for it the next morning.

But this morning I'm writing about a young man who didn't have the luxury of paying for it the next morning. Because he died.

Just before I left the office yesterday, I learned that my coworker's nephew had been found dead of alcohol poisoning. He was in college, pledging a fraternity.

So many words come to mind.... horrible, tragic, heartbreaking............... preventable.

So often we hear news reports of situations just like this, where college frat parties quickly turn into alcohol binge fests where the goal is to out-do one another to see who can down the most booze in the shortest amount of time. Drinking games like the "power hour," "century club" and others often can -- and do -- result in DEATH.

"Alcohol poisoning occurs when a person consumes an excessive amount of alcohol. Alcohol can depress or stop nerve signals that control breathing and the gag reflex that prevents choking. As drinking increases, the person will become sleepy, or fall into a stupor. Ultimately, the respiratory system becomes depressed, and the person can stop breathing, causing death. Commonly, comatose patients aspirate their vomit, resulting in vomitus in the lungs, which can cause asphyxiation and death." (WebMD & Wikipedia)

The story told to my coworker's sister-in-law by one of her son's roommates is that his soon-to-be fraternity brothers set a case of beer in front of him and said, "drink." And he did. And he died.

The really sad and angering part is, there is nothing that can be done to change this. Even with all the preaching and lecturing and fact-presenting and awareness campaigning and M.A.D.D. and S.A.D.D. demonstrating, fraternities and sororities will continue with their drinking rituals, college students will continue to drink to excess, and young men and women will continue to die.

Scary.

Scary that alcohol can have such power. And even scarier that we let it.

My heart breaks for this family. There is now a mother without her son, a sister without her brother, an uncle without his nephew. And now, the "if only's" and "should have's" will begin. Because that is human nature. We punish ourselves in situations like this because our feelings of helplessness and guilt force us to. But nothing can bring him back, and that fact alone is punishment enough.

There is no happy ending, no silver lining. This kid is dead. A senseless waste of a precious human life.

That is all there is to say.

10-10

Today is Sunday, October 10th.

We had a 2:00 p.m. matinee of Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming at Hanover Tavern this afternoon, where there also were not one, but two wedding receptions happening. The weather in Richmond, VA today is uncharacteristically warm for fall. The maple leaves are starting to turn orange and gold. There is not a cloud in the sky. It's a perfect day for a beautiful wedding.

Of course, those who know me probably know where I'm going with this. I had a beautiful wedding on an uncharacter-
istically warm fall day in St. Paul, MN on Sunday, October 10th, six years ago. The leaves were at their glorious peak and the cloudless sky was an expanse of bright blue.

It was fun to catch a glimpse of the bridal parties today, donning ear-to-ear grins, the perfect accessory to their formalwear. So much happiness and expectation.

I couldn't help but feel a little pang of sadness.

Because no one gets married thinking they'll get a divorce. I was just like the brides I saw today: happy, excited and full of hope. How it should be.

It's just a shame that sometimes, the hope fades and is replaced with something else. I had no idea on that day six years ago that the years to follow would be far less than ideal. My expectations were dashed quite soon after, and the brilliant blue sky of my wedding day became dark and stormy with no sign of clearing.

Even though getting a divorce was the right, smart, and healthy choice, it still weighed heavily on me. The feeling of failure was overwhelming. I was ashamed to tell my family and friends. I felt guilty about the wedding they had all attended, apparently for nothing.

But someone reminded me that at the time, on that day six years ago, it was a happy occasion. A beautiful day where family and friends could come together, visit, eat good food and celebrate the future with each other. Every good intention was brought forward on that day, and everyone left with a happy heart.

Jamie and I rode from the church to our reception in a white Rolls Royce. Today, on my way home after the show, a white Rolls Royce drove by. Coincidence? Or was it God's little wink to tell me he knows what's on my heart?

No good can come out of regret. If those who end up getting divorced knew on their wedding day that would be the outcome, no one would ever get married. There are all kinds of cliches about life's lessons: "life is a journey," "life is meant to be lived," "in life, you take the good with the bad," etc. However, they are all true. All our experiences -- successes, failures and everything in between -- make us who we are.

I firmly believe that the future is bright -- not just for the newlyweds I saw today, but for all of us. It boils down to a matter of perspective and attitude. Life is too short and too precious to believe otherwise!

Analog vs. digital

Ever since the technology world flipped the digital switch, the debate of analog versus digital has been circling 'round and 'round, with no sign of stopping anytime soon.

I had a discussion with Robb recently about film photography versus digital photography and a similar discussion on the topic of artistic talent, whether innate or manufactured.

B&W film photo. Grain Belt © 2000 www.emilyjcole.com

It used to be that to take good photos, one had to have a keen eye for value, color and composition. Photos shot on film involved either processing them oneself in a darkroom, or rolling the dice with a commercial developer. Either way, it was easy to tell a good photograph from the not-so-good ones.

Now, with digital technology, virtually anyone can be a talented photographer. Photo editing programs like Photoshop, Lightroom and even freebies like Google's Picasa mean that tasks like cropping, straightening, adjusting brightness/contrast/saturation, etc. can be achieved with a mouse-click and can make any old photo look like a masterful composition. All that is required of the eye is to see.

This is not necessarily a bad thing! It opens up a world of creativity to people who may never have dipped their toe in the creative waters otherwise. It does raise the bar, however, for anyone wanting to pursue a career in photography. Talented photogs either need to step it up a notch and produce great photographs, or get lost in the shuffle with the myriad of good ones. 

I used to think of myself as a decent photographer and briefly considered delving into it as a sideline profession. But not anymore. The sheer cost of keeping up with the latest and greatest technology that is required to produce great vs. good photos has, I dare say, permanently relegated me to that of a hobbyist. 

Digital sketch. Lil Wayne © 2010 SEILER

 

The same analog vs. digital conundrum holds true for painting and drawing too. I follow an über-talented art blogger named Seiler who is a successful caricaturist and artist in Chicago. He does everything digitally and can turn around a painting in a couple days and a drawing in even less time. 

Graphite drawing. Muhammad Ali © 2001 www.emilyjcole.com

When I think of the amount of time I spend drawing a portrait, I get irritated at the notion that someone else can do the same thing, minus the eraser crumbs and frustration, in half the time using a stylus and tablet with their Mac. It feels like cheating to me. And a little bit elitist. Forget about trying to compete with techno-savvy artists who can turn around multiple pieces in the time it takes to complete one portrait the old-school way. [Maybe I'm just jealous that he can afford the technology and I can't...!?]

I'm sounding like a crotchety old woman here! Perhaps the issue is less about the technology and more about finding one's niche in the market. There has been a resurgence of interest in vinyl records, tube amps, knitting, and pretty much anything "vintage" or hand-made. I suppose the same could hold true for art.

Until I win the lottery and buy all the fancy equip-

ment my heart desires, I will satisfy myself with that conclusion. At least I can rest assured that stained glass will never become digital!  

Or will it...?