Vanishing vapor

Life is crazy isn't it? It really does just fly by. "For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." (James 4:14) 

The past several weeks have felt like a vanishing vapor. Robb and I decided that, since we met on New Year's Eve five years ago, what better day to get married than New Year's Eve! Yes, I do mean THIS New Year's Eve, December 31, 2011. Obviously, that has left little time for planning, especially since Robb has been working a lot of overtime and I am working full-time and doing the holiday show at Barksdale Hanover Tavern (Blue Ridge Mountain Christmas). 

Thankfully, we don't have to do it all ourselves. We have the incredible Jennings Whiteway as our wedding planner, who has already alleviated so much stress by taking care of multiple details and making sure we stay on schedule with everything. If you're engaged and need a planner, you need to call her right now! (Seriously, just ask me, I will give you her number!) Also, my great bosses of 6½ years are graciously letting us have the wedding ceremony and reception at the beautiful Empire Theatre, which will celebrate its 100th birthday on Christmas Day. We couldn't ask for a more perfect and special place to exchange our vows and celebrate with our closest friends and family.

I know I really should cherish these fleeting moments leading up to our wedding day. But in some ways, I am glad they are "just a vapor" because I am so looking forward to being married to the greatest man in the world!

Engaged... at the beach!

Well, he surprised me alright.

Me, and six others (seven if you count the 3-year-old).

Robb presented me with a gorgeous piece of bling during our annual theatre beach weekend at the Outer Banks in Rodanthe, NC. My initial response to seeing the velvety black box, was, well.... I was in shock ok?!

R: [silently slipping the box into my purview]
E: Babbling mindlessly about something, then noticing said box. [eyes wide. gasp.] "What's IN there?!"
R: [smiling] That's for you.
E: [still aghast] "Is it a RING?!"
R: [exasperated] "Why don't you open it?"
E: [opening box] "What IS THIS?! Is this what I THINK IT IS?!"
R: [still exasperated] "Yes, I hope you'll put it on."
E: More mindless babbling, some laughing and crying. Then, "You haven't asked me anything."
R: "What do you mean?"
E: "You haven't asked me THE question."
R: [sighing. exasperated. smiling and obliging.] "Will you marry me?"
E: "YES!!!"
R: "Good!"

The next several minutes were also priceless. We told Sara and Tracy next. Tracy shrieked. Sara cried. (She is pregnant but I think she would have cried anyway.) Then, we told Carlos and Lucas and Stacie. Carlos and Lucas gave very appropriate and manly congratulatory responses. Stacie happened to be brushing her teeth. She threw her hands in the air and left the toothbrush in her mouth to hug me. I think she may have gagged a little. Jeff found out a little bit later from a very excited Tracy.

The whole weekend was brilliant -- wonderful weather, fun people, lots of celebrating. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

It was bright outside. That, and we were pretty happy. :)

Staying on my soap box

Deep within my soul lies a passion for justice. I come by this naturally, as both my parents often get fired up in defense of "the little guy."

Over the last week or so, we've all been getting fired up over a little guy. The cause, "Jacob's Law," is being spearheaded by my friend from high school, Sarah Corder Guggisberg. Jacob's Law is a piece of proposed legislation in Minnesota that would require notification of both parents when child sexual abuse is discovered. 

Jacob

In a nutshell, Sarah's son Jacob was sexually abused by a neighbor while Jacob was at his dad's house for parental visitation. He was 6 years old. Jacob's father, Sarah's ex-husband, was notified of the abuse when it happened and again later when the abuser confessed; but Sarah was never notified, even though she had legal custody of Jacob. Her ex declined multiple times to press charges against the perpetrator (a juvenile), who ended up going to trail and being sentenced anyway because he had also abused 10 other kids. But Jacob was forced to deal with this horrible secret -- and the accompanying guilt, shame, sadness and fear -- alone. For FOUR YEARS.

Sarah was completely in the dark about the abuse until Jacob finally revealed some of what happened, four years after the fact. Rightly so, Sarah was (and is) outraged. Had she known about the abuse after it happened she could have immediately placed Jacob into therapy. Now, he is 12, has attempted suicide twice and spent time at different mental health facilities. It is beyond comprehension why county authorities failed to tell Sarah about the abuse, particularly since she is Jacob's primary guardian and has legal custody.

I have told Sarah that I will help her get the word out about this issue through all possible means. Sarah is currently working with a local lawmaker to research Minnesota state statutes and craft the legislation. She has set up a group on Facebook and a petition on whitehouse.gov, challenging the Obama administration to make the crisis of child sexual abuse a national priority.

I have sent emails to family and friends with the link to the petition. I would encourage everyone who is reading this blog to register with whitehouse.gov and sign it. All the statistics in the petition are from a website called Darkness to Light.

As several of you know, I work for a children's theatre company (Theatre IV) that produces a touring show called Hugs and Kisses,Virginia's primary child sexual abuse prevention and intervention program for elementary students. It is now in its 28th year of touring to elementary schools across the Commonwealth of Virginia. It has been seen by 1.4 million students since its inception and has directly helped over 13,000 children. Hugs and Kisses is a musical play that sensitively and inoffensively tells the story of a girl who is being abused. Throughout the course of the show, she, her friends and Hugs the Dog learn important lessons that enable her to break her silence and obtain help from a trusted adult. This program has won numerous state and national awards for its enormous positive impact on children's health and abuse prevention. I wish every state had this play as part of their educational curriculum.

Some quick facts about child sexual abuse:

• 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 to 7 boys are sexually abused by the age of 8, and 20% of child sexual abuse victims are under the age of 8
• There are currently more than 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America 
• More than 90% of abusers are people children know, love or trust
• Only 4-8% of child sexual abuse reports are fabricated, and most fabricated reports are made by adults involved in custody disputes
• The crime of child sexual abuse costs U.S. tax payers over $35 billion annually

Child sexual abuse is real. It knows no geographic, cultural, racial or socioeconomic bounds. It is happening in cities and rural areas across the country. But it can be PREVENTED. Darkness to Light has "7 Steps to Protecting Our Children from Sexual Abuse," which I urge every parent to read and follow.

As advocates, one of the most important things we can do is TALK. The subject of sexual abuse has been taboo for too long, which has only exacerbated the problem. The more we talk, Tweet, Facebook and blog about it, the more success we will have in eliminating this heinous crime.

Don't step off your soapbox.............................. LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!

You Are My Flower

I still can't quite grasp that I am playing the role of Maybelle Carter in the Mill's production of Keep on the Sunny Side. She and her guitar playing are legendary. Her style is the basis for the modern country music guitar sound. No pressure, right?!

For whatever odd reason, I have always had an affinity for Johnny Cash and June Carter (before it was cool). I knew of June's mother, "Mother Maybelle," but had no idea of the magnitude of the Carter family's influence on country music, and music in general. The more I learn about A.P., Sara and Maybelle, it becomes even more humbling to play the role of this amazing woman. I am grateful to Tom Width and Drew Perkins for having the confidence that I could do the part justice. The callouses on my fingers attest to my desire to convey an accurate portrayal, and while I have a long way to go to attain the virtuosity of Maybelle Carter, I have learned to play several songs in her style, which is another challenge unto itself.

Our very talented cast (Drew Perkins as A.P., Jackie Frost as Sara, Ali Thibodeau as Janette, and David Janeski and Lucas Hall in multiple roles) had a great opening weekend and I hope the success continues. Janette Carter's daughter Rita Forrester came from Hiltons, VA to see the performance on Saturday night. What a wonderfully kind and gracious woman. It was an honor to meet her. My parents, Wes and Janette (same spelling, no relation!), were also in the audience for all three performances Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. It was a treat to have them here.

I think "You Are My Flower" is my favorite song in the show. It's part of a 3-song medley, so we only perform a section of it. It was one of the most difficult guitar parts for me to learn musically, but that's probably why I like it so much now, and also why I find it so gratifying to play.

I love this video of Sara and Maybelle from the Johnny Cash Show. They are both very stately and stoic women (Sara sings "wear a happy smile" and "don't forget to smile" with a completely straight face); but toward the end, we catch a glimpse of the sparkle in Maybelle -- she is truly enjoying herself, but with her typical humility and humbleness. This is probably one of many reasons why she was -- and is -- so well-loved by so many, including me.




You Are My Flower
Adapted by A.P. Carter

The grass is just as green
The sky is just as blue
The day is just as bright
The birds are singing, too

You are my flower
That's blooming in the mountain for me
You are my flower
That's blooming there for me

The air is just as pure
The sunlight just as free
And nature seems to say
It's all for you and me

You are my flower
That's blooming in the mountain for me
You are my flower
That's blooming there for me

So wear a happy smile
And life will be worthwhile
Forget your tears
And don't forget to smile

You are my flower
That's blooming in the mountain for me
You are my flower
That's blooming there for me

When summertime has passed
And snow begins to fall
Just sing this song
And say to one and all

You are my flower
That's blooming in the mountain for me
You are my flower
That's blooming there for me

NOTE: Just realized that today is Helen Carter's birthday -- Maybelle's eldest daughter. Maybelle was about 8 months pregnant with Helen when she went with A.P. and Sara to Bristol, TN to record their first record on August 2, 1927.

11 september 2001

On September 11, 2001, I was living in St. Paul, MN in a basement pullman apartment on Milton Ave with two roommates. I was unemployed after finishing a year of AmeriCorps and, as was fairly typical during those self-absorbed days of feeling sorry for myself, I slept in. I was awakened by the persistent ringing of the landline and my cell phone. It was Jamie, calling from work and frantically telling me that a plane had crashed in New York and that I needed to turn on the TV. None of what he said clicked with me. I didn't understand his urgency or why a plane crash had upset him enough to call me. Chalk it up to the morning grog. But whatever sleepiness still hovered over me evaporated the moment I turned on the TV. I was not prepared for what I saw. I'm sure millions of others watched on national television when the towers fell. It was ghastly. I couldn't believe it was real. Later, I wrote this. I'm not savvy on rules of poetry so don't know if it counts as a "poem" or "prose" or just feelings on paper. But it was how I marked that day, and I have looked back at these words many times over the past several years.

I think the slogan "Never Forget" is a bit obnoxious. How could we ever?

11 september 2011

death

and fire

death

and mud

death

rained down

death

and blood

death

and sadness

death

and confusion

death 

made widows

death

and intrusion

death

and anger

death

and vengeance

death 

wreaked havoc

death

and penance

death

and prayer

death 

and hope

death

gave strength

life

to cope

Dear Breeze

Dear Breeze,

Thank you for visiting me through my living room window this morning. You have reminded me that life is but a breath; that all of these "problems" I face aren't worth a fraction of the time I spend fretting over them; that each day is truly a gift.

You are welcome any time.

-E.

Exhilaration is the Breeze
That lifts us from the Ground
And leaves us in another place
Whose statement is not found --

Returns us not, but after time
We soberly descend
A little newer for the term
Upon Enchanted Ground --

                                    Emily Dickinson 

Earthquakes & hurricanes & fires -- OH MY!

It was quite a week in Ol' Virginny!

The 5.8 earthquake in Mineral (about 45 miles NW of Richmond) last Tuesday was crazy... I was sitting at my desk at work (downtown Richmond) when it happened. We've had a lot of construction going on around our office building lately, so at first I just assumed the rumbling was something related to that... that is, until the stuff on my desk started to dance around and my coworker Liz yelled to get out of the building. That evening, I was at rehearsal at Swift Creek Mill Theatre in Colonial Heights (south of Richmond) during the first major 4.2 aftershock. I completely slept through the other one around 1 a.m. There was another early morning aftershock (4.5) on Thursday, which I also slept through.

Hurricane Irene wasn't as brutal to Richmond as Isabel was in 2003, but Richmond suffered the highest percentage of power outages during Irene (371,000 people in Richmond, 973,000 total in Virginia). Robb and I were part of the small percentage of the city that didn't lose power. The lights flickered regularly and power would go off for 30 seconds at a time, but came back on again. We are so thankful that nothing major happened to us. My coworker Tony's neighborhood south of the river was hit hard. One home had its roof completely knocked off (see photo). Lots of downed trees and blocked roads. We had a dead branch come down in our front yard, but that's nothing compared to what some people are dealing with.

Robb's sister Jennifer and her family, as well as his mom and step dad, live in Gloucester County, near the coast. His mom and step dad evacuated, but his sister stayed. They are without power, but no major damage. Gloucester had a horrible tornado rip through the area last spring causing over $7 million in damage, so a lot of people were still trying to put their lives back together after that.

One positive thing is that all the rain has seemed to put a damper on the 6,000+ acre fire in the Great Dismal Swamp in SE Virginia that has been burning and growing for three weeks. Smoke is still visible but no flames have been spotted, and the fire doesn't seem to have spread. We could smell the smoke here in Richmond prior to Irene.

Seems like the only thing we need to check off the natural disaster list is a volcano! (And maybe some locusts...!?)

We're grateful for all the thoughts and prayers -- Robb and I feel extremely fortunate in all this!