Tom

Thomas J. McGranahan, Sr., my friend and former coworker at Virginia Repertory Theatre (formerly Barksdale Theatre & Theatre IV) passed away last week from complications of cancer. He was a hardworking, funny, feisty, all-around good guy. I flew back to Richmond this past Memorial Day weekend for the funeral, which was packed, and rightly so. Tom had a lot of friends. A LOT.

Virginia Rep Artistic Director, Bruce Miller, wrote a moving blog post tribute to Tom, which you can find here. There was also a nice article about him in the Richmond Times-Dispatch. The only thing I will add is that I will personally miss hearing him call me (and every woman, really) "darlin'" as well as all his other Tom-isms that will no longer be heard in his high raspy voice, spoken at 1,000 miles per hour, to any passerby within earshot.

No doubt Tom is now cracking jokes with St. Peter and the angels over a liverwurst on rye.

"Nobody here but us chickens!"

Love & miss you, Tom.

Thomas Joseph McGranahan, Sr.

April 16, 1931 - May 23, 2013

Blessed be his memory.

Time flies...

...when you're not on Facebook!

I can't believe I've been Facebook-free for one month. I really thought I would miss it more than I did. Actually, I'm kind of appalled at how much I DIDN'T miss it. When I clicked that "deactivate" button on July 6th, my quickening pulse and sweaty palms were clear indicators that I had made the right decision. I was really quite disgusted with myself. Afterwards, I lost track of how many times my thumb instinctively flew to that blue "F" icon on on my phone. At least I removed the button from the favorites toolbar on my browser, otherwise I'm sure my mouse cursor would have floated up to click that too. In fact, it probably did. Gross.

It's also highly intriguing to me that three separate friends (that I know of... there may be more) also parted ways with Facebook in the last four weeks, all for various reasons, but all of which stemmed from bad experiences... account hacking, Facebook-sponsored spam-bots, drama-inducing posts. It was kind of nice knowing I wasn't the only fed-up Facebooker.

I must say, I really enjoyed using other forms of communication over the last month, which included Twitter, LinkedIn, email, text, and talking. I also found that I took more time to read -- that is, read things other than people's status updates or political rants or Words With Friends scores. Although I did get some of that from Twitter. But the beauty of Twitter is that in a matter of seconds, comments roll off the screen, never to be thought of again. Quite unlike FB's "Top Stories" that would stare back at me. All. Day. Long.

It was a nice experiment, and a much needed rehab from Crackbook. Yet, in spite of my new-found freedom, I will likely reactivate my account anyway.

I know, I know.

I certainly have no intention to revert to the addict I once was, and I plan to keep that bookmark removed from my favorites. Maybe I'll become one of those people who has an active  Facebook account but "is never on."

We're about to find out.

A slap in the Facebook

Facebook. That wonderful, awful, social networking site that has permanently changed the way the world communicates. Tonight, I deactivated my account for the first time since I opened it in 2007 or whenever it was. Yup, I'm now one of "those" people. I don't know how long I'll be gone. I just want to remind myself of what life was like before Facebook.

Facebook can be a great tool for keeping in touch. I've been able to reconnect with dozens of people who I may never have heard from again had it not been for the 'Book. I got to see photos of family and friends near and far, and stay apprised of birthdays, anniversaries, and general goings on in the lives of my 920 "friends."

But I recently found myself embroiled in the dark side of The FB. The side where one slip of etiquette, one typo, one misplaced comment, ETC., can quickly spiral into miscommunication, confusion, hurt feelings, and a slew of other negative emotions. Not the first time it's happened, and probably not the last, so I've chosen to say toodle-loo for awhile.

Overall, I think the pros of Facebook outweigh the cons. But for me, at least at the moment, I'm very happy at the prospect of not having to keep track of another set of Ps & Qs, or deal with the consequences of botching them. Certainly, I will miss Facebook. But for now, I will give good ol' fashioned e-mail and telephone a try.

Will let you know how it goes.

Long overdue (or Movin' on up - part 2)

When I think about the circumstances that brought me to Richmond, VA, in June 2005, and my initial reaction to being there, I never could have predicted that I would grow to love (and now miss) it and its people so much. It truly is a special place with a big city heart and a small town feel. On its own, Richmond could be any city. It has all the requisite ingredients for an urban landscape... large and small businesses, real estate, mass transit, restaurants, sports teams, arts and culture, etc. But what makes it special is, of course, the people.

So,this is my long overdue thank-you-love-letter to Richmond, Virginia and all who dwell there, especially those I had the pleasure of knowing over the past seven years. And it was indeed a pleasure.

Theatre IV/Barksdale Theatre and the Richmond Theatre Community

I spent the first month and a half in Richmond unemployed. I was lonely, homesick, and (I'll just go ahead and say it) miserable. I had farmed out my resume to practically every arts organization in town as soon as I got there. Each and every time, the response was, "we're not hiring now, but we'll keep your resume on file." Not exactly music to my ears, especially with mounting expenses.

In late July I answered an ad in the paper for a part-time gig working for a Business Consultant and Executive Coach, Rich Russakoff. [I am probably the last person on earth who got a job answering an ad in the paper.] The work was interesting, helped pay some bills and Rich was wonderful to work with -- we still keep in touch. But I still needed something full-time.

Enter Michelle Prior, former Director of Development at Theatre IV/Barksdale Theatre. She called me one day in August. She was one of those people who "kept my resume on file." She had taken a job elsewhere and they were looking for an Annual Fund Manager. I interviewed with Michelle, Phil Whiteway and Bruce Miller, was hired, and started work on August 19.

I have never loved a job as much as I loved working at Theatre IV/Barskdale. Sure, it had its ups and downs, as does any job, particularly any non-profit job. But the ups far outweighed the downs, and I am grateful for each moment I got to be part of that remarkable staff, not to mention the opportunity to appear on stage. Truly a gift.

Thank you, Phil and Bruce, for taking a chance on me, and to all my former coworkers who made each day a joy -- Jennings, Liz, Tony, Kate, Katie, Brittany, Chase, Lucas, Tracy, Sara, Natalie, Andy, Ford, Jeanie, Gordon, Ronnie, Eric, Janine, Shannon, Laine, Jillian, BC, David, Jessica, Joy, Deejay, Sue, Sarah, Lynn, Marcia, Hans, Luke, Bruce, Wendy, Doug, Jenna, Derek, James, & Tom. Thank you, Richmond actors, directors, designers, technicians -- my FRIENDS -- for embracing me with open arms and becoming such an important part of my life. I think about you daily.

Rock Band

On my list of "wish-I-woulda"s before leaving Richmond would have been getting to know the local music scene a little better. It seemed like the indie music culture wasn't as in-your-face as I had expected, and to uncover it required some sleuthing. I did, however, get a chance to play a couple times in a "party band" for lack of a better term, thanks to a Theatre IV coworker, John, discovering that I played the piano. I played keyboards with The Nixon Years, which is how I met Greg, Ceci, Jesse, et. al. -- music loving friends who accepted me into their circle even though they constantly reminded me how "young" I was. 

Penny Lane Pub

I honestly can't remember the first time I went to Penny Lane Pub on 5th and Franklin. I know it was with Billy Christopher Maupin, and maybe some others, although the memory is lost in a haze of ale and cider. But it was early on in my Richmond life, and it was there that I got to sew my wild karaoke Hall & Oates. If I had a mantle, my Female Vocalist of the Year and Entertainer of the Year trophies would be on it.

Not only did I find my voice at Penny Lane, I found some great friends as well, namely Catalina, Pipe, Joe, Karen, and of course, KJ of the century, Jason Power. Some of my favorite Richmond memories happened at Penny Lane, so I thank you all for making that possible. 

Area 10 Faith Community

Through my friendship with Catalina and a well-placed neighborhood flyer, I learned that there was a new church starting up that was meeting at the Byrd Theater in Carytown. So I went. And I liked it. And a little while later I joined the worship team. And I liked that too. And then a couple summers later I volunteered on a service trip to Vietnam. And that was life-changing.

Thank you, Chris Barras, and thank you Laura, Gwenyth, Marci, George, Keith, Brittany, Helen, Marissa, Jessica, Terry and Bob for experiencing Vietnam with me and sharing the joy of the orphans of SS3. And thank you Bic, Pink, Dat, Thao and Xu for sharing your beautiful country--and your beautiful selves!

Mr. Jones, Ms. Freim, The Pattersons and the Other Joneses

[Of course I have to acknowledge my now-husband in this espistle!]

I met Robb at a New Year's Eve get-together five and a half years ago. We quickly became friends and it was just in time, because my life began heading in a direction I never would have anticipated. I leaned on his friendship a lot as I muddled my way through a divorce, drawing comfort from the fact that he too had been through a similar situation. A few years later, our relationship progressed to the point of a marriage proposal on October 29th, 2011 in Rodanthe, NC and we got married 5 years to the day after we first met. (It was the perfect example of Romans 8:28.)

Through Robb, I got to meet and become part of the lives of some other wonderful people -- his family. I owe a huge thank-you to Elaine Freim, Robb's sweet and generous mother, who has a heart bigger than Texas and is always willing to share it; Robb's sister, brother-in-law, nephews & niece -- Jennifer & Bill Patterson and Caleb, Nathan & Eleanor -- who graciously let me share their brother and uncle, [especially Caleb who, as he pointed out, has known Uncle Robbie since birth, which is longer than I have... duly noted] and who never hesitate to extend their love and hospitality; and finally Robb's dad, Don, and step-mom, Vicky, who lovingly ushered me into the world of "pickin'" and in the case of Don, provided me a glimpse as to the origin of some of Robb's traits. I am grateful to all of you for accepting me into your family and I look forward to seeing you all again soon!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Contrary to how it may have appeared, the decision to move to Minnesota was far from easy. I was finally at a point where I was content calling Richmond "home." But, it was time to go. While the move has presented its share of challenges, Robb and I both feel confident that it was the right decision at this point in our life together. Who knows... maybe we will be led back to Richmond in a year or two? Or Albequerque? Or Tanzania? Or Greenland? (Right, Nate?)

There are so many others who I could thank by name who made a lasting impact on me during my time in Richmond... my friends at the Mill, my Sanders family, my Quilters sisters, and so many more... suffice it to say that I love you ALL very much. And so I leave you with a scene that quite appropriately sums up how it felt to leave:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmkG6pnr7-g

(I couldn't embed it because of copyright, blah blah blah.)

Love you all!

XOXO

Pseudo MySpace survey

Ok, pry open those memory banks with me for just a moment. Remember MySpace? Yah, come on, of course you do. That pre-Facebook social networking site with all the bugs and bad music... yeaaah, that's the one!

My friend Valerie tagged me in this blogging get-to-know-you survey thingy. It totally reminds me of the surveys folks used to fill out and post on MySpace. I thought those were fun, and yes, I miss them, so I'll oblige with this one too.

There are six rules.

1. Post these rules.
2. Post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post (i.e., Valerie's for me).
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you've tagged them.
6. No saying, "If you are reading this, you're tagged."

11 random things about me:

1. I'm nearly ambidextrous. I write right-handed, but can write fairly legibly left-handed, and can draw and paint left-handed. I can do everything else with either hand (but prefer the left).
2. I grew up on a farm in rural Minnesota.
3. Red is my favorite color.
4. I am the oldest of three siblings, and the only girl.
5. I went through a period where I was allergic to Budweiser.
6. My ancestry is Norwegian, Ukrainian, German & English.
7. There were 37 people in my high school graduating class.
8. I went to happy hour with violinist, Joshua Bell.
9. I drive a stick shift.
10. My first role in a play was Donna Lucia d'Alvadorez in Charley's Aunt.
11. My birthday is on Christmas Eve.

Valerie's questions for me:

1. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, many times, although nothing too drastic. I don't have any "I-wanted-blonde-but-it-turned-out-magenta" stories.
2. Do you prefer dogs, cats, or some other creature? Don't make me choose! I love both dogs and cats. Have cats now but would really love to have a dog again.
3. Did you participate in a sport in college?  If so, what sport? Nope, I was one of those band/choir nerds. I did go to aerobics class a few times a week though, if that counts!
4. What is your favorite hobby?  Anything art-related, specifically stained glass or drawing.
5. Where is the most memorable place you've ever been? The SS3 orphanage outside Hanoi, Vietnam.
6. What is the one physical trait you like most about yourself? Eyes.
7. What is your biggest pet peeve? Grammatical errors (their/they're/there, your/you're, using an apostrophe to make "word's" plural -- I could go onnnnnn)
8. What is your favorite thing to do for exercise? The truth is, I just plain don't like exercise. However, I could (and have) hiked all day long, or paddle a canoe for miles. I guess I need scenery to make exercise bearable! 
9. Have you ever broken a bone?  If so, where? Nope, but when I was in elementary school I always wanted to have a broken bone so my friends could sign my cast.
10. What is the worst job you've ever had? One summer when I was 15 I worked for a neighboring farmer chopping stray corn out of his soybean fields with a hoe. It was hot, muggy, buggy, and also I sliced my leg open on his barbed wire fence. Not to mention there seemed to be more corn in those fields than soybeans. 
11. If you could do anything in the world, just once, what would it be? Skydive. Just once.

MY questions for.... hmm, let's see.... [considering who might do this]................ CYNTHIA!

1. Who is your favorite band/musician?
2. Where does your furthest-away relative live?
3. Are you a nail-biter?
4. What was your major in college?
5. What was your favorite vacation as a kid?
6. What gives you the biggest thrill?
7. Have you ever sold anything on eBay? If so, what was it?
8. What's your favorite TV show of all time?
9. Have you ever run in a race?
10. If you could live anywhere but where you currently live for one year, where would it be?
11. What's your favorite thing in life?

I am in the midst of writing another blog post to get this thing caught up to my life, but this was a fun diversion. Go to it, Cynthia, your turn! ;)

Ya only get married... twice!

We did it! 

The  Wedding Party with our Families

Robb and I tied the knot on December 31, 2011, at a beautiful and personal evening ceremony, officiated by Rev. Michael "Pipe" Sloan. It was about 30 minutes in length, with lots of heart-felt words of wisdom and a few jokes thrown in for good measure. It was perfect, and we expected no less from our gifted friend. Robb's best man was his best friend for 25+ years, Norman Clark. My matron of honor was my cousin and friend for just as long, Mary Collins. 

About 25 friends and family members were witnesses as we exchanged our vows on the stage and set of My Fair Lady at the historic Empire Theatre, which just had its 100th Birthday on Christmas Day. Thank you Phil Whiteway and Bruce Miller for allowing us to use this magnificent space for our most special day. Thanks also to the production team of Theatre IV/Barksdale for making everything look beautiful -- the lights, the stage, the marquee, the lobby, and on and on. Picture perfect.

Anthony, David & Drew

Music before and after the ceremony was provided by my wonderful friends and castmates, Anthony Smith (flute and piano), David Janeski (mandolin and guitar) and Drew Perkins (violin and guitar). The entrance and dismissal songs -- Wexford Carol and Sussex Carol -- were taken from the show we all did together, Blue Ridge Mountain Christmas. I'm so grateful to these guys for their perfect playing.

After the ceremony, we walked across the street to Tarrant's Cafe for an absolutely mouth-watering dinner and champagne toasts.

Following dinner, we headed back to the Empire for a dessert buffet reception with about 85 of our friends and family. Holly Timberline baked up a confectionery storm and several guests also shared some favorite sweet treats (Jennifer Patterson, Gordon Bass, Sara Heifetz, Cat Thomas, the Moms and yours truly). We also had about six dozen cupcakes from Lola's Bakery. Yum!

Robb's mom, Elaine Freim, absolutely transformed the lobby with her beautiful decorations. Throughout the night, I heard directly and indirectly how festive and magical everything looked. Our floral arrangements were created by Designs by Ron, a neighbor of the theatre and a brilliant florist who took what I had described and exceeded my expectations.

The night culminated in a New Year's count- down with the New York City ball drop broad- casting on the flatscreen in the lobby, and Robb and I running through a tunnel of cheers and sparklers to our getaway car. :)

I have to say a HUGE thanks to my parents, Wes and Janette Cole, and my brother, Nate Cole, who traveled from Minnesota not just to attend, but to help set up, take down, bake, run errands, decorate, take video, and offer their moral (and financial!) support during the flurry of activity. I'm so glad they were here to share in the details! I also want to extend heartfelt thanks to our photographer, Greg Garner, who also went above and beyond to photograph the entire night. Most of the photos you see here were taken by him -- as you can see, he is super talented! www.bluegoostudios.com

Donna, Jennings & Phil Whiteway

I cannot write one more word without saying perhaps the biggest thank-you of all to my friend, coworker and best wedding planner ever, JENNINGS WHITEWAY. She worked behind the scenes to make everything run like clockwork, handling and diverting potential catastrophes without breaking a sweat, and more importantly, without me knowing it! She is so gifted at what she does and I can't begin to thank her for helping to make our wedding day truly magical.

Robb and I took a mini-honeymoon for a few days to the Outer Banks, to the beach house in Rodanthe where we got enga- ged. Many thanks to another coworker and friend, Tracy Coogle, and her mom Pat Cully, for generously offering to let us come back to bring the story full circle. We had such a wonderfully relaxing time!

For both Robb and me, this is our second go-round at marriage. But, we both feel certain that the second time is the charm. ♥

Engaged... at the beach!

Well, he surprised me alright.

Me, and six others (seven if you count the 3-year-old).

Robb presented me with a gorgeous piece of bling during our annual theatre beach weekend at the Outer Banks in Rodanthe, NC. My initial response to seeing the velvety black box, was, well.... I was in shock ok?!

R: [silently slipping the box into my purview]
E: Babbling mindlessly about something, then noticing said box. [eyes wide. gasp.] "What's IN there?!"
R: [smiling] That's for you.
E: [still aghast] "Is it a RING?!"
R: [exasperated] "Why don't you open it?"
E: [opening box] "What IS THIS?! Is this what I THINK IT IS?!"
R: [still exasperated] "Yes, I hope you'll put it on."
E: More mindless babbling, some laughing and crying. Then, "You haven't asked me anything."
R: "What do you mean?"
E: "You haven't asked me THE question."
R: [sighing. exasperated. smiling and obliging.] "Will you marry me?"
E: "YES!!!"
R: "Good!"

The next several minutes were also priceless. We told Sara and Tracy next. Tracy shrieked. Sara cried. (She is pregnant but I think she would have cried anyway.) Then, we told Carlos and Lucas and Stacie. Carlos and Lucas gave very appropriate and manly congratulatory responses. Stacie happened to be brushing her teeth. She threw her hands in the air and left the toothbrush in her mouth to hug me. I think she may have gagged a little. Jeff found out a little bit later from a very excited Tracy.

The whole weekend was brilliant -- wonderful weather, fun people, lots of celebrating. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

It was bright outside. That, and we were pretty happy. :)

Staying on my soap box

Deep within my soul lies a passion for justice. I come by this naturally, as both my parents often get fired up in defense of "the little guy."

Over the last week or so, we've all been getting fired up over a little guy. The cause, "Jacob's Law," is being spearheaded by my friend from high school, Sarah Corder Guggisberg. Jacob's Law is a piece of proposed legislation in Minnesota that would require notification of both parents when child sexual abuse is discovered. 

Jacob

In a nutshell, Sarah's son Jacob was sexually abused by a neighbor while Jacob was at his dad's house for parental visitation. He was 6 years old. Jacob's father, Sarah's ex-husband, was notified of the abuse when it happened and again later when the abuser confessed; but Sarah was never notified, even though she had legal custody of Jacob. Her ex declined multiple times to press charges against the perpetrator (a juvenile), who ended up going to trail and being sentenced anyway because he had also abused 10 other kids. But Jacob was forced to deal with this horrible secret -- and the accompanying guilt, shame, sadness and fear -- alone. For FOUR YEARS.

Sarah was completely in the dark about the abuse until Jacob finally revealed some of what happened, four years after the fact. Rightly so, Sarah was (and is) outraged. Had she known about the abuse after it happened she could have immediately placed Jacob into therapy. Now, he is 12, has attempted suicide twice and spent time at different mental health facilities. It is beyond comprehension why county authorities failed to tell Sarah about the abuse, particularly since she is Jacob's primary guardian and has legal custody.

I have told Sarah that I will help her get the word out about this issue through all possible means. Sarah is currently working with a local lawmaker to research Minnesota state statutes and craft the legislation. She has set up a group on Facebook and a petition on whitehouse.gov, challenging the Obama administration to make the crisis of child sexual abuse a national priority.

I have sent emails to family and friends with the link to the petition. I would encourage everyone who is reading this blog to register with whitehouse.gov and sign it. All the statistics in the petition are from a website called Darkness to Light.

As several of you know, I work for a children's theatre company (Theatre IV) that produces a touring show called Hugs and Kisses,Virginia's primary child sexual abuse prevention and intervention program for elementary students. It is now in its 28th year of touring to elementary schools across the Commonwealth of Virginia. It has been seen by 1.4 million students since its inception and has directly helped over 13,000 children. Hugs and Kisses is a musical play that sensitively and inoffensively tells the story of a girl who is being abused. Throughout the course of the show, she, her friends and Hugs the Dog learn important lessons that enable her to break her silence and obtain help from a trusted adult. This program has won numerous state and national awards for its enormous positive impact on children's health and abuse prevention. I wish every state had this play as part of their educational curriculum.

Some quick facts about child sexual abuse:

• 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 to 7 boys are sexually abused by the age of 8, and 20% of child sexual abuse victims are under the age of 8
• There are currently more than 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America 
• More than 90% of abusers are people children know, love or trust
• Only 4-8% of child sexual abuse reports are fabricated, and most fabricated reports are made by adults involved in custody disputes
• The crime of child sexual abuse costs U.S. tax payers over $35 billion annually

Child sexual abuse is real. It knows no geographic, cultural, racial or socioeconomic bounds. It is happening in cities and rural areas across the country. But it can be PREVENTED. Darkness to Light has "7 Steps to Protecting Our Children from Sexual Abuse," which I urge every parent to read and follow.

As advocates, one of the most important things we can do is TALK. The subject of sexual abuse has been taboo for too long, which has only exacerbated the problem. The more we talk, Tweet, Facebook and blog about it, the more success we will have in eliminating this heinous crime.

Don't step off your soapbox.............................. LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!

Thankful

It is altogether too easy to forget how blessed I am.

I am sitting here now in my warm & cozy apartment in Richmond's beautiful Fan neighborhood, sipping freshly ground coffee, getting ready to hit the road to spend Thanksgiving in Maryland with my cousin's family......... and marveling at my fortune.

I have NOTHING to complain about.

I felt a little differently when I moved here five years ago. I didn't know a soul. I didn't have a job. I lived in an isolated part of town. I was terribly unhappy, and I sunk into a depression. Everyone back home in Minnesota kept assuring me that in time, I would find a job, friends, my place in the community... happiness. I was skeptical.

But they were right.

Over the last few years, I have come to love Richmond. I have a wonderful job with talented colleagues at two top-notch theatres, and two of the best bosses I've ever had the pleasure of working for. I've made some life-long friends and found a church whose mission I believe in. I met perhaps the biggest blessing of all, Robbie Jones, whose friendship and support helped me through some very difficult times and whose love I have come to cherish.

Of course I am grateful for a multitude of other things: a loving family, health, living in a free country, a roof over my head, clean water to drink, good food to eat, a car to drive, the list could go on for pages. And maybe it should. I am guilty of forgetting how wealthy I am, and when I stop to think about how good I've got it, I am humbled.

"Happy Thanksgiving" -- happily giving thanks for all the blessings in my life. And if you are reading this, be assured you are one of them!

Two Nights in Rodanthe

"Our" house

Robbie and I had the fortune and pleasure of spending last weekend at a lovely beach house in Rodanthe, NC. The house belongs to my coworker Tracy's family and she was gracious enough to invite us rowdy theatre-types to experience the magic of the Outer Banks.

And it was magical.

The drive down was about as pleasant as any 4-hour car ride can be. Tracy, Lucas, Stacie, BC, Robb & I rode together in Tracy's minivan. The road to the house had been closed intermittently throughout the day, due to washout from waves remnant of a Noreaster. Lucas was driving (in the dark) when we got to the beach road. The first sign said, "Water on Road. Proceed with Caution." About a half mile ahead of that was another sign: "WATER ON ROAD. PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION." (I guess they really meant it that time.)

It was quite an adventure plunging through several inches of water, in the dark, with fog, particularly when faced with oncoming traffic and water covering the entire road. But Lucas demonstrated his expert driving skills, which he no doubt acquired from his years touring the country with Theatre IV. We all arrived safe and sound and thus began our weekend.

View from the house

The weather was cooperative, the beach was beautiful, the house was spacious and comfortable. We all took turns preparing meals and each one was delicious. Robbie made gumbo on Saturday night that was one of the most delicious dinners I've ever put in my mouth. We played cards and Catch Phrase and were also able to enjoy moments of solitude to read, sit in the hot tub, or just relax and enjoy the salty air and the sound of the waves.

But the most magical thing that happened during the trip: we all got along.

L to R: Lucas, BC, Stacie, me, Robb, Jonah, Carlos, Sara, Tracy

No arguing, no bickering, no pouting, no sulking, no fuming, no yelling (except for strategic moments during Catch Phrase) -- it was truly magical. I don't know if it was because we all were so in need of a get-away that we were experiencing some sort of collective euphoria, or perhaps there is just something about the ocean that sweeps in the good energy and washes away the bad. Whatever the reason, we laughed and ate and drank and enjoyed every single minute in Rodanthe.

I will truly remember that weekend for a long, long time to come.

A love letter to the Sanders Family

It's 8:00 p.m. No show tonight. *SIGH*

Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming closed last weekend at Barksdale - Hanover Tavern. It was the third in a trilogy of shows written by Connie Ray and conceived by Alan Bailey about the Sanders Family, a traveling North Carolina bluegrass gospel group in the late 1930s to mid-1940s. The first show, Smoke on the Mountain, was met with great success in the spring of 2007. I was fortunate to play "Denise" in that show, and in the following two productions, Sanders Family Christmas in 2008-09 and Homecoming in 2010.

Homecoming has closed, the trilogy is finished... but I just can't stop thinking about these amazing productions and even more about the amazing people that I have gotten to play with these three and a half years.

I'm sure Bruce knew it was a gamble asking me to be in this show. I hadn't acted since high school, so for me, it meant creaking open the archives and refamiliarizing myself with the jargon. It also meant dusting off my harp-playing skills (which, at that point, I hadn't put to use in 8 years), not to mention the piano and guitar.

Drew Perkins, our Musical Director and "Burl/Daddy" in all three shows, also took a gamble. Bruce at least had the advantage of knowing everyone in the cast -- Drew found himself in a room full of strangers, all with varying degrees of musical ability. He was charged with the task of making us sound like we knew what we were doing. If the first few rehearsals didn't drive him to drink, I don't know what would.

But somehow (perhaps divine intervention?), we pulled it off. We had a great run of Smoke and formed a fast and tight bond with each other that became closer-knit with each show. Even though the trilogy has concluded, I am confident the friendship will continue until we all meet in that big round-up in the sky.

So now, on this first non-show night in seven weeks (and even though I have already told them all how great I think they are), I am going to take advantage of the extreme self-indulgence that is blog-writing to publicly love on each of the members of this family. I hope my 10 followers will bear with me. 

Julie Fulcher: My first Mama. I never tired of watching you go head-to-head in the scripture quote-off with Rev. Oglethorpe or interact with the audience during your children's devotionals. It was all I could do to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter each time you scolded me. No one can smash a Junebug with more conviction or let a Christmas tree fall on her with more grace than you. As Vera, you demonstrated your deep devotion to your faith, to your family and to the music, all with a twinkle in your eye. I miss the dressing room conversations with beloved Aunt Judy, and with you. "God has given us two gifts, music and witness." 

David Janeski:  It was so fun to watch the transformation of Dennis from bashful minister-to-be to confident ex-military preacher extraordinaire. Playful yet serious, you captured the essence of Denise's polar opposite twin brother while simultaneously evoking emotion that not only made the audience teary-eyed, but routinely choked up the cast as well. Musically, you demonstrated your astounding talent by becoming a pro on the mandolin and bass during the course of these three shows. Truly amazing. I'm glad to have you as my brother and friend. "I'm the boy." 

Kelly Kennedy: My second Mama. You also approached Vera with a twinkle in your eye and fire in your heart. Your sweet smile and equally sweet voice were contrasted with Vera's fierce passion for scripture and getting right with Jesus. While you will probably disagree, you joined the family and moved into the character with the greatest of ease, just like the expert actor you are. Your portrayal of Vera/Mama was seamless and a joy to watch. It was an honor sharing the stage with you. "And sin sends us where? Everlasting hell!" 

Billy Christopher Maupin:  Few people possess the passion, energy, earnestness and musical talent that you combined to create the perfect preacher of Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church, Mervin Oglethorpe. How many times did we hear from audience members, "Mervin is just like the preacher at the church I grew up in!" Your genuine care for your flock couldn't have been more apparent. Yodeling might not be your cup o' tea, but I'd challenge anyone anywhere to find a better Mervin than our own BCM. Thanks for the traveling company -- just watch those spurs! "Amen." 

Drew Perkins: Our teacher, our leader, our fiddlin' friend. I think it's safe to say that your gamble paid off. Three sold-out productions later, we have you to thank for helping us get there. Your stories and jokes and records and doughnuts made being in the dressing room almost as fun as being on stage. Your generous heart and playful spirit shined through Burl and gave the audience a glimpse into the man behind the character that the rest of us had the pleasure of getting to know and love. Thank you for being a constant source of laughter and a musical inspiration to all of us. "We are the Sanders Family Singers, from up around Siler City." 

Aly Wepplo: Hey sis. June... the good daughter. "We know." I've seen you in many roles, and maybe I'm a bit biased, but I love your June. Smart, pretty, and wise beyond her years, just like you. June's sensibility is complemented by a very real vulnerability, which endeared her to my heart, as well as the audience's. You also flawlessly portrayed her unabashed honesty and tell-it-like-it-is attitude, all with a gesture and a smile. I'm grateful to have had the chance to be your sister, and even more to be your friend. "We like to talk a lot." 

Eric Williams: Your portrayal of Uncle Stanley is the epitome of consistency. In each of the three shows, despite his gruff demeanor, Stanley easily won over the hearts of the audience, and his family. I think out of all the characters in our show, people relate to and empathize with Stanley the most, and you get all the credit for that. When Stanley speaks, people listen... because when Eric speaks, people listen. You are more talented than you will ever give yourself credit for. "Pleased to be here." 

And finally, to our faithful audience, I say, THANK YOU. Thank you for being part of the congregation of Mt. Pleasant, for laughing with us, crying with us, and for just being part of the amazing experience that is live theatre. Without you, it's likely some of us would never have met, let alone become such good friends. It was an honor to perform for you and I hope our family will have the fortune of welcoming you back to Mt. Pleasant again soon.

Much love,

Emily/Denise/Densie/D'nie
"I'm the oldest by four minutes."

10-10

Today is Sunday, October 10th.

We had a 2:00 p.m. matinee of Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming at Hanover Tavern this afternoon, where there also were not one, but two wedding receptions happening. The weather in Richmond, VA today is uncharacteristically warm for fall. The maple leaves are starting to turn orange and gold. There is not a cloud in the sky. It's a perfect day for a beautiful wedding.

Of course, those who know me probably know where I'm going with this. I had a beautiful wedding on an uncharacter-
istically warm fall day in St. Paul, MN on Sunday, October 10th, six years ago. The leaves were at their glorious peak and the cloudless sky was an expanse of bright blue.

It was fun to catch a glimpse of the bridal parties today, donning ear-to-ear grins, the perfect accessory to their formalwear. So much happiness and expectation.

I couldn't help but feel a little pang of sadness.

Because no one gets married thinking they'll get a divorce. I was just like the brides I saw today: happy, excited and full of hope. How it should be.

It's just a shame that sometimes, the hope fades and is replaced with something else. I had no idea on that day six years ago that the years to follow would be far less than ideal. My expectations were dashed quite soon after, and the brilliant blue sky of my wedding day became dark and stormy with no sign of clearing.

Even though getting a divorce was the right, smart, and healthy choice, it still weighed heavily on me. The feeling of failure was overwhelming. I was ashamed to tell my family and friends. I felt guilty about the wedding they had all attended, apparently for nothing.

But someone reminded me that at the time, on that day six years ago, it was a happy occasion. A beautiful day where family and friends could come together, visit, eat good food and celebrate the future with each other. Every good intention was brought forward on that day, and everyone left with a happy heart.

Jamie and I rode from the church to our reception in a white Rolls Royce. Today, on my way home after the show, a white Rolls Royce drove by. Coincidence? Or was it God's little wink to tell me he knows what's on my heart?

No good can come out of regret. If those who end up getting divorced knew on their wedding day that would be the outcome, no one would ever get married. There are all kinds of cliches about life's lessons: "life is a journey," "life is meant to be lived," "in life, you take the good with the bad," etc. However, they are all true. All our experiences -- successes, failures and everything in between -- make us who we are.

I firmly believe that the future is bright -- not just for the newlyweds I saw today, but for all of us. It boils down to a matter of perspective and attitude. Life is too short and too precious to believe otherwise!

Ch-ch-changes and stuff

I blew through the entire month of May without a blog post. As they say in British Parliament, SHAME!

A few updates and changes. My computer died, then got all Lazarus-y and came back to life. I spent maybe two or three weeks computerless, relying on my Droid to help me satiate my email, Facebook and Twitter addictions. Then, one day, I came home and a little voice (GOD???) told me to plug in my computer and "just see what happens." It was a laptop miracle! It started up, the battery charged, and I immediately backed up EVERYTHING onto a portable 500 gig hard drive in case it was just going to be a 10-minute miracle. But so far it is still working ok... I mean, the period is still missing (am still copying/pasting the ".") and the screen still flickers on occasion, but I've been treating it very gingerly and so far it has responded by staying alive.

Remember how I said I was going to move out of my current place? Yeah, that's not so much happening anymore, much to the dismay of my neighbor down the hall in #4 who's had his eye on scooting into #3 the moment I turn the key and say goodbye. Oh well, he's pretty cool so hopefully he can wait another year, which is how long I'm staying. Turns out my landlord next door is still in his house too, with the "for sale" sign still out front. It's leaning a little.

Finished up A Grand Night for Singing at Swift Creek Mill Theatre on May 22. What a fun show! And great people. Such a pleasure. I hope I get a chance to work with some or all of them again.

[Gotta pause here to give Franklin some attentxssaz[ko7yt65 <-- he says "hi"]

Went to MN for a couple weekends in May, the first was for my godson Adam's baptism (still working on uploading all the pics but here are a few; the third is Adam with his parents, Eric & Melissa).

Robbie came with me for the second trip over Memorial Day to visit some family & friends. Got to see my friends Maureen & Mac who were up from Phoenix and my Grandma Katie who has moved to an assisted living facility. She'll be 90 in September.

The highlight of June so far has been my brand new air conditioner that Robbie so graciously installed for me. While I am willingly putting off central air for another year, at least I now have an AC that works properly. And has a remote control.

I have a few drawing and glass projects that I want to get underway... the latest glass creation was stylized initials for Adam. I really want to try to create some pieces based on the Motawi tiles (see earlier blog post). I need to get going on a drawing for a person who won it in last year's Fairy Tale Ball silent auction and contacted me last month to tell me she was the winner. Better late than never! She wants a portrait drawn of her two Sheltie dogs, which will be fun. I've never drawn a dog(s) before.

Finally, a little humor captured on the way to visit Robbie's family in Gloucester last weekend:

Happy "almost" Summer!